Slow It Down

Tonight was an awesome night. Just...awesome. Steph blogged about most of the reasons why it was awesome, but I will reiterate.

We had three new girls and some new guys as well, which is great in and of itself. But the coolest thing to see Joyce, was one of the girls who is a regular at Fabio's, have a break through tonight. Joyce is the smallest adult in the school. By a lot. I outweigh her by at least 25 pounds. She has always been a timid person and BJJ did not come naturally to her because of her shy nature. But she stuck with it and tonight she saw the fruits of her persistence.

One of the new girls she grappled was bigger than me and quite a bit stronger too. But Joyce was able to use technique and dictate the grapple. I didn't see the whole thing, but every time I looked up she was in a dominant position.

I am so proud of her. I know that it has been a struggle for me being "smallish" and a girl, but it has been doubly so for Joyce. Lately, she has come into class with a fiery, go-get-em attitude and she is really making head way. To me, it is yet more solid proof that BJJ really works and can not only give you solid self defense but also confidence as well.

GO JOYCE!!

Fabio showed an omaplata tonight and, after he let us drill it for a while, he called us back in and gave us all some drilling advice. I guess a lot of people were trying to do the technique fast. But Fabio said that we need to drill the technique slowly. It's not only for safety reasons, but to also because we need to take time to make sure we're getting the details right. Speed comes later, after a technique is already committed to your memory, after you've done it over and over and over again. But, most of the time, speed should be unnecessary. If a technique works, it will work when you put it on slowly.

I tried to put that into practice in some of my grapples. Instead of rushing through submissions, I tried to relax and go through them smoothly, without hurrying. What I found was that, while I wasn't able to finish every submission, I was able to make transitions a lot easier and smoother. My mind wasn't so hell-bent on one thing, I guess. It was cool.

Overall, great night. Now to sleep and do it all again tomorrow. Loving life. :)

Dealing With Perfectionism

I hit the wall this week. Had a crying spell in class, which is always embarrassing. None of the guys cry. lol. Had a talk with Ben, a brown belt at our school who used to be one of my instructors at Summerlin. Without even realizing that what he was saying was having an impact, he straightened me out.

But I wish I didn't need straightening out so often.

Practicing Jiu-jitsu is like standing in front of a mirror that shows you every strength and weakness of your character. Take me for example. Jiu-jitsu has taught me that one of my strengths is determination. When I see a challenge, I want to get through it no matter how hard it is or how long it takes. But, on the other hand, Jiu-jitsu has shown me that I am a perfectionist and that sometimes I am the one putting unnecessary challenges in my own path.

I did a brief google search and found this Check List for parents to see if their kids struggle with perfectionism in sports:

Here are the top eight signs of perfectionists. They:
1. Generally perform better in practice than game situations.
2. Want to excel badly, which makes them anxious and afraid of failing.
3. Are afraid of making mistakes.
4. Worry too much about what other people think about them.
5. Try too hard to ensure their performance is “perfect.”
6. View performance as either good or bad, with no middle ground.
7. Harbor unrealistic or very strict expectations about their performance.
8. Are fearful of letting others down if they make mistakes.

I can check off every single one of those items. The question I have is, should I try to change this aspect of my personality and is that even possible? I think it is ironic that I feel like I have to "fix" this part of me, since that feeling is very possibly related to this whole perfectionist thing in the first place! LOL

The negative aspects of being a perfectionist affect more than just my Jiu-jistu performance. I psych myself out in a lot of things. At my job, in relationships, with my body image, on big projects that I undertake. A lot of people might be tempted to say, "Just relax. Don't put so much pressure on yourself." But that's kind of like telling my dog, "Don't chase that squirrel." Anyone who has the same personality as me will know that it is not that easy. You can't just flip a switch and stop thinking this way.

Like everything else, it takes time.

Here is where being a Youth Minister comes in handy. I know how to change destructive habits. I TEACH on how to change destructive habits. lol It is a process that happens step by step and begins with identifying and getting to the root of harmful attitudes.

For example, I know that I shouldn't go to extremes when trying to change my perfectionist habit. Being a perfectionist isn't all horrible. For one thing, my personality drives me to succeed. That's not a bad thing. Also, my personality drives me to not only succeed, but to do things well. Also not a bad thing. Perfectionism becomes only a problem when I take it to extremes and put unrealistic expectations on myself.

So what can I do? To answer that question, I thought about what I would say to one of my youth struggling with this same thing. Here is what I came up with:

1. Realize that your performance doesn't determine your worth. My family and friends are not going to love me any more or less because I win every tournament I enter. They will be happy for me and maybe they will admire it. But my worth to them does not rest in what I do, but who I am.

2. Accept that you are imperfect. This may seem like a no-brainer, but for me it is a big deal. Logically, I know I am not perfect. But then why do I set expectations as if I should be? I have to understand that I am not perfect and that this is OK! That doesn't mean that I don't try to improve. It just means that I accept the fact that I have strengths and weaknesses just like everyone else and that this is ok.

3. Set realistic goals. Self-explanatory.

4. Make your own decisions. Part of being a perfectionist is wanting badly to please others. For me, this translates to anxiety over how other people perceive my performance. In Jiu-jitsu, I am constantly looking for re-affirmation from my coaches and friends. I ask for lots of advice. I worry about whether or not they are upset or disappointed in me. In this case, what I would tell my youth is that they need to decide what their own goals are, not look to everyone else to make those decisions for them. And then they need to be able to stand on their own convictions and not be slaves to what everyone else thinks about them. Simple, right? In theory yes. In practice? Heck no.

5. View mistakes in a positive light, instead of tearing yourself apart. There is a difference between making a mistake and being a jerk. If I am a jerk and I punch someone in the face, then I should feel guilty about it. If I make a mistake and i don't execute a sweep correctly, I didn't do anything morally wrong. I just have things to improve on with that sweep. I think people who struggle with perfectionism connect their success to their worth in character. This is not healthy. Having good character does not mean you don't make mistakes. Having good character means that you do your best and admit when you make mistakes.

In jiu-jitsu, I have been learning to let my mistakes be more like mini-lessons. I pick one from each class, for example, a failed sweep, and try to figure out why it didn't work. I refuse to beat myself up about it but instead turn my attention to figuring out what I can do next time to make the sweep work.

6. Don't back down from challenges. Perfectionists like to hide from major challenges because we fear failing. That is why, in my opinion, it is so important to meet those challenges head on. The reason is, you will fail sometimes and then you will realize that failure is not the end of the world! :)

Anyways, that is my long-winded, pep talk for myself. I go around and around with this, but over the last year and a half, I have seen a lot of improvement in changing my self-destructive attitude. The reason why I know I am getting better at it is that, even though I still struggle with it, I don't beat myself up. It took me 28 years to get this way. It will take me a while to learn to handle stress in a more healthy way.

You Now Have Permission to Fail

This past weekend at the Miami International Open Tournament was AWESOME for so many reasons.

First and foremost, I love hanging out with my team. A few of us were talking on the trip down to Miami that BJJ must have some kind of addictive powers because most people who do BJJ are obsessed with it. We say it's a hobby, but actually, it's a lifestyle.

What amazes me even more is the way schools become like families. I've played team sports all of my life. Softball, volleyball, lacrosse and racquetball (yes...I was on a racquetball team in college. Yes that makes me nerdy. Don't be hatin'! lol). I've loved every sport I've played. But I have never been involved in a sport that has consumed me like BJJ has. Neither have I been on a team that was so close. We're all so different, but somehow it just...works. And I think that it's the same all over the place. Jiu-jitsu clubs are like second families. I wonder what it is about the sport that brings people into such close friendships.

At this tournament, I was a nervous wreck for all of my teammates. As soon as we walked in, my heart started pounding. I was taking video of everyone, so I was running around the gym from mat to mat, trying to watch everyone and screaming my head off in support. We had a lot of wins and some tough losses. Everyone did great.
My favorite guys/gals to watch were the ones who were competing for the first time. Let me tell you, they moved AWESOME!! I was really impressed.

The losses had a big impact on me, though not in an entirely negative way. Some of our best grapplers in the school lost matches yesterday. While I was either sad for the fact that they didn't win or pissed off at the ref or something, it was very liberating at the same time. These are guys who are way better than me. They can wipe the floor with me. But they lose too, sometimes. It was like someone was talking over a loud speaker saying: You now have permission to fail. lol

I talked to Fabio about it a little bit; about how I worry sometimes about disappointing him at tournaments. He said that a loss at a tournament doesn't mean anything to him. What means something to him is seeing someone who has the heart to go out and try. For some reason, at this tournament, that actually got through my thick skull.

Maybe the reason why it sunk in was that I had no pressure myself at this tournament and I could just enjoy it and learn. I could see the tournament without all my nerves getting in the way. Before this, I was pretty much forcing myself to do tournaments. Now, I am actually looking forward to the next one. The pressure is suddenly gone. I am sure I will still be nervous. But now I actually think it will be fun.

That alone made the trip completely worth it.

Some pictures from the weekend:



Got to meet Hillary Williams.

And also got to meet Cyborg. Watched him roll, too. Freaking awesome.

What Is Going On Here?!?!

Man, this afternoon's class was so awesome! Learned a lot. We drilled an escape from when someone is doing an armbar from guard. I will definitely use it. But the things that I was really excited about came during grappling and after class.

I was going with Barf (his real name is Brian). He is one of those guys that, after I've finished grappling him, I always walk away having learned something. Today, he very kindly caught a few foot locks to show me that I was making my feet vulnerable when I'm doing inverted guard. He didn't finish them. Just caught them so I would be aware. Fabio has been catching a lot of them on me to so I would notice.

Just when I thought I was making some progress in the area of leg defense! haha. Before, heel hooks were my nemesis. Now it's foot locks. Grrr!

I was kind of confused about the best way to escape since I usually got caught by them when I was using inverted guard to defend my guard or something. Being upside down, I wasn't sure how to move to escape! lol So, after class I asked Fabio the best way to escape them.

He showed me. Basically, I have to reverse the way I'm going before they can sink it in, or roll out the same way I would from an ankle lock when I'm right side up. It was a little weird escaping upside down at first. But I am sure I will have lots or practice in the upcoming grapples!

But after he showed me how to escape, he explained that I need to change the way I use my feet when I'm using inverted guard so that I make them less vulnerable to attack.

First of all, I have to use my feet like I would normally use my hands, and my legs like I would use my arms. In the same way that I wouldn't fully extend my arm out to an opponent, I shouldn't extend my legs out. Also, in the same way that I use grips with my hands to break my opponent down, I need to use my ankles and heels to hook/grip my opponent and break them down.

When I asked where I should generally be hooking, Fabio told me to look for the light. Any place where I can see light, I should hook: under the arms, at the neck, at the elbows, in the knee pits. I shouldn't be trying to push someone away with my legs. I should be using my legs to break down their posture so I can sweep them, go for a submission or take their back.

He also reminded me that inverted guard is a great position for defense and transition, but I shouldn't be hanging out there too long. He said that I a m getting there and waiting for the other person to react. What I need to do is get there and attack their posture, go for a sweep or a submission the same way I would in regular guard.

Big eye opener. I can not WAIT to get back on the mat and start experimenting with all of this.

Another minor revelation I had this week came with all my focus on trying to pass guard instead of playing guard: I actually LIKE being a top player!!! What the heck is going on here?!?!

I realized why I was hanging around so much guard. I thought is was safer against big, strong guys. I know a lot of you seasoned veterans are probably tisking and shaking your heads, but I really thought I would be safer in guard. This week, I have realized that I have so much more control when I pass guard from the beginning and try to work from the top.

Don't get me wrong, I am still a guard-lover. I still feel more comfortable there.
But, even though it takes a little more energy and aggression to pass guard at the beginning, it pays off, in my opinion, with not being on defense right away. Yes, guard can be an offensive position. But for me, I was having a lot of trouble keeping the big guys in my guard. As opposite as it seems to me, I have a better chance against them when I get on top from the start.

Phew. I'm exhausted. But happy. And looking forward to more of this crazy journey.

Move It!!

It's funny to me how Fabio can tell me something and show me something over and over again and it still doesn't take. I understand the concept, but I can't seem to reproduce it in grappling. There's some kind of block. Then, out of the blue one day, something clicks and that little piece of the puzzle falls into place.

That's how it was this afternoon.

I had been having a lot of trouble defending my guard and was using strength, even though I knew that was stupid. I was trying to keep people in my guard. Fabio kept telling me I needed to move my hips. I didn't get what he meant. I thought I WAS moving my hips.

Then, this afternoon, I was sitting out during for one roll and watching Fabio go against another blue belt in the school. He was defending his guard for most of the grapple. He looked effortless while the blue belt was just scrambling trying to get around.

While I was watching, something clicked. I noticed the way he was moving his hips. He was never sitting facing his opponent straight on. He was always on one hip or the other. When his opponent tried to power through on one side, he'd slip out the other side and get his back, or hip out and return to guard, or go inverted and return to guard. Hip, hip, hip. Move, move, move. THAT'S what he had been trying to tell me!

What I was doing was killing my movement by trying to hold the person in my guard with my arms and legs. I was sitting on both butt cheeks most of the time, or worse, laying flat on my back with the person in my guard. It goes against my instincts to think that the way to control someone in a fight is to move. Normally, you'd think the way to control someone is to get them in a position and hold them there. But that's not BJJ. And it doesn't work.

How many times had Fabio or Ben explained this to me? I don't even know. But I couldn't wait to roll again and try it out. When I did, the difference was like night and day. Moving made it easier to stay in a dominant position. It wasn't the SAME position the whole time. But I actually felt less vulnerable. I felt a LOT more mobile to do different things.

After class, I told Fabio that I was finally beginning to get what he had been trying to tell me. He said he knew I would, but that this is how it goes. You hit a wall, get frustrated. The instructor can tell you what you need to do, but only mat time brings you to the place where you can FEEL it and understand it yourself. That's why a lot of people end up quitting. They get to a certain point, hit a wall, get frustrated and decide it's not worth the frustration. The people who stick it out and keep working are the ones who really love BJJ.

Hopefully I will remember this the next time I hit the wall. A friend of mine in class says I go through cycles like this in a regular pattern, every couple of months. I wonder if he's right. I should be able to find out from looking back at my blog. lol

Beginner's Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

August 1st marked my one year BJJ anniversary! Woohoo! It is hard to believe that one year has passed so quickly and that so much has happened in that time. I am still a beginner in the world of Jiu-jitsu, but I thought I would share some of the major ideas that I have learned in the last year, in regard to getting the most out of training Brazilian Jiu-jitsu. Like I said, I am still a newbie, so take it as you will. :)

The first thing I did when I decided I was going to write this blog was to ask Fabio, my instructor, what he would say to beginners coming into BJJ. He knew what he wanted to say right away. Here are the basics of what he told me.

1. Don't think about the belt! Thinking about the belt will get in the way of you growing. Just think about learning.

2. Don't worry about doing the "right thing". No one knows what the right thing is when they first come in. You won't do the right thing. Don't worry about it. You need to try. That's how you learn what the right thing is.

3. Everybody's different. It's not about learning slow or fast. People learn differently and some people pick it up faster than others. But don't worry about how fast or slow you are picking it up. It depends on how much you move and how open you are to learning.

4. Nothing good comes easy. Jiu-jitsu takes time.


As for me, I am an uber nerd, so I have a lot to say about everything. ;) So here is my list of things that I learned about training BJJ that have helped me.

1. Jiu-jitsu is not about strength. It's not even about speed. IMHO, It's about control, leverage, balance and adaptation. If you are straining when you're trying to do something or if you are having to use a lot of strength, you aren't doing the technique correctly.

2. Relax while you're grappling. It seems counter-intuitive, I know. But you will not be able to move like you need to if you are tense and straining.

3. Don't worry about doing moves "fast" during drilling. Doing it fast does not prove that you are doing it right. In fact, you may miss important details if you are trying to go fast. If a technique works, it will work when you are moving in a relaxed, smooth way. Speed will come later, after your muscles are used to making the motions. That happens naturally, over time, with lots and lots of repetition.

4. Expect to be on defense a lot. For a long time. It doesn't mean you suck. It means you go to a school with people who know more BJJ than you. That's a GOOD thing. :) It means they have a lot to teach you.

5. Don't be afraid of getting in bad positions or of getting submitted. Try things. Learn what works and what doesn't. If you get into a bad position, use it as an opportunity to practice your escapes. Once you are in a bad position, relax. You are already there. Don't waste energy trying to explode out of it. Take a deep breath and start working your escapes.

6. In the same vein, don't look at your grapples in terms of "winning" and "losing". Instead, focus more on trying to take one or two things away from that grapple that you can learn from. That way, every grapple is a mini-lesson in and of itself.

7. If someone has a style that frustrates you, don't avoid them. Roll with them more!! This has been a huge thing for me. They are frustrating you because they are doing something that you don't know how to deal with. If you keep working, keep trying things, keep presenting yourself with that situation, eventually you will adapt to whatever it is they are doing. Think of that frustrating person as an opportunity to refine a certain part of your game that needs attention.

8. Don't worry when you feel like you aren't progressing. Everyone feels like that from time to time. It's normal. You ARE growing, even if it doesn't feel that way. You will notice it when you grapple someone who is newer than you. :)

9. If you want to get better "quickly" the best thing to do is to grapple. Get as much mat time as you can. There are no "secret techniques" or "short cuts" that can help you get better faster. Watching videos on YouTube and reading books are helpful, but they can't replace live grappling. The only way to progress is to put in the time on the mat.

10. Ask lots of questions to your instructors and higher belts. They will most likely be eager to help you.

11. Find one or two people who you can just "try stuff" with on a regular basis.

12. If you get an injury, give it time to heal. I know you don't want to sit out. It sucks. But you will be out longer if you don't give your injury time to heal and it becomes something that needs surgery to be corrected.

13. Don't talk crap about people. Don't brag. It's a fast way to lose friends and help from your training partners.

14. Go to tournaments. I hate them, because I put to much pressure on myself. But I still go because it is a good way to test myself, to see where my bjj is working and where it isn't. Don't wait until you're "ready" to go to a tournament. You're never "ready". At whatever level you compete, it will be a challenge. That's why it's so enlightening! :)

15. This last one is more of a personal learning style. For me, it is more beneficial to to understand the concept behind a move--why a certain move works--than to just memorize steps. BJJ rarely happens exactly like the technique demonstration. Grapples are fast moving and positions change quickly. If you understand the concept behind a move, you will be able to use that move in multiple situations, instead of just in the situation that it was demonstrated in. For example, if you learn an armbar from mount, try to understand why the armbar works. Then, you will be able to get an armbar in many other positions: from guard, from side control, etc. Details are important, but for me, concept is primary.

Anyways, that's my $.02 on the first year in BJJ. Hope it is helpful in some minute way!! ;) BJJ veterans and fellow newbies alike, feel free to add more to the list!

Fear of Failing

I read a great post by Megan at Tangled Triangle this morning that got me thinking. I said a couple of posts ago that I hit a breakthrough in my game but couldn't put my finger on it.

I think I figured out what it is. I knew that relaxing and being able to move more fluidly while I was rolling was a big key, but the even bigger key was why I was ABLE to relax in the first place.

If you follow my blog, you will know that in the past months I struggle with the debilitating Bluebeltitis disease. I didn't want to tap to white belts. Heck, I didn't even want them passing my guard. I didn't want to "let down" my instructors by not performing at some level I had set up in my own mind. Basically, I was walking into every class with a huge, self-imposed weight on my shoulders.

Then, I realized a few things that--when I am able to keep them at the forefront of my mind going into class--liberate me from all the pressure I was putting on myself.

1. No one is really all that concerned with how good or bad I do on any given day. The gym doesn't revolve around me (big shock!) and it's not like everyone is sitting around waiting for me to mess up. I mean, my instructors and teammates care about me. If I have a good day, they'll say, "Hey, you're moving well." If I have a bad day, they'll say, "Don't worry about it. You'll do better next time." But I got it in my head that I had to KEEP doing well to keep everyones' "good opinion" of me. That is just stupid because I am not coming to BJJ to keep them happy. I am coming because I love the sport. Of course I want people to like me. But they're going to like me for me, not because I roll well.

2. I don't need to rush through my BJJ experiences. I don't need to constantly be worried about all of the areas where I am not doing well. I will improve over time and I can't really do all that much to speed it up. It's kind of like expectant mothers in the last few weeks of their pregnancy. They want that baby out. But guess what? The baby will come when it's good and ready and not a minute before. In the same way, I can't expect myself to be perfect at my techniques at this level. I am still a beginner. And now I am ok with that. In fact, I am enjoying it. I don't want to rush through my training anymore. It's all fun. I just want to enjoy it. Which brings me to my last point...

3. BJJ is fun. That's why I started it in the first place, isn't it? If I make it about all this pressure, it loses the magic that lured me in and becomes a chore. I come to the gym and pay to learn BJJ not because I have to, but because it is something I enjoy. Or at least, it is supposed to be! I can tell when my head is in the wrong place if I start dreading going to class. If I am dreading going to class, it is usually because I am worried that I am not going to do well. Then I have to have a little chat with myself about points one and two, and remind myself that THIS IS MY HOBBY! lol No lives are at stake. Nothing hangs in the balance waiting to see whether or not I can finish a submission today or defend my guard. It's all a game. And if I am not enjoying it, then why am I playing?

I knew all of these things in my head, but convincing myself to believe them in my heart (as corny as that sounds) was the key for me. A lot of that is due to a lot of great teammates and some people on here-- Dev, Liam, Georgette, Leslie and Can to name a few--who convinced me that I was being retarded and needed to chill out about my perfectionism. Thanks guys! ;) Now I can come to the gym and be relaxed because I don't have all this unnecessary pressure on myself. If I have a good day, I'm going to enjoy it. If I'm off, I'm going to learn from it. But above all, I am going to enjoy the experience and the people.

Snake!!

Anaconda to be exact. That's what we worked on last night: The Anaconda Choke. Fabio joked that, back in Brazil, no one called it the Anaconda Choke. They just called it a choke. Here, everyone has to have a name for everything. ;)

In the last several weeks, I've seen some improvement in my ability to finish chokes, whether it be triangles, gi-chokes or head and arm chokes. I was catching them before, but not really able to get the tap. It was a triangle drill that Fabio made us work one night that made the concept click for me and made me realize where the major problems were in my techniques.

Before, I was squeezing and pulling a lot to finish my chokes. I remember thinking that there must be something wrong with my technique because, not only was I not finishing chokes, but I was wearing my muscles out while trying to do them. I was trying to use strength because my technique was defunct.

Then Fabio taught us how to quickly finish a triangle. You start with having the person in your closed triangle. You lift your hips, tightening your knees together and cinching up the triangle, then you come down keeping your knees tightened. You go up again, your knees coming even tighter. You do this rapidly, as many times as you need to, cinching up the triangle until the person taps. It's not about squeezing hard, it's about closing space. It looks funny, but most people ended up tapping within a few seconds or passing out.

And it requires no strength!

The key thing that stuck with me was the idea of shrinking everything in on the person. It wasn't so much about pulling or squeezing. It was about closing all the space. To do that, you have to relax and kind of form yourself around the person's body, tightening everything as you do, kind of like a constrictor snake does. As usual, I had been shown all of this before. But during that drill I finally understood what it felt like in application.

I realized that chokes are not just about my arms or my legs. They're about using my whole body and about relaxing and shrinking the space around the arteries. So, here are a couple of rules of thumb that I am trying to keep in mind with chokes:

1. Relax. I can't close the space adequately if I'm tense.

2. If I can see the choke, chances are I'm not in close enough. Shrink in with my whole body, tightening all the space with my knees or my elbows, depending on which choke it is.

3. Don't give up on a choke too soon. The goal is to be tight from the start, but don't despair if I don't get in tight enough at first. Keep cinching it up, staying relaxed and moving with the person wherever they roll.

Breakthrough!!

I'm packing to leave for a trip to Atlanta for a wedding, so this is going to be short. I think.

I'm on one of those rare highs where I feel like things are working. A new piece of the puzzle fell into place--or a couple of new pieces--and it's like a whole new ball game. That's one of the great things about BJJ. I start to think I'm familiar with the game, then I realize something or learn a new set of moves that makes me see BJJ in a completely new light. Suddenly I'm excited all over again like I was in the beginning.

The breakthrough this time was learning to relax more. For a while I had been trying to figure out how to deal with big guys or muscly guys and I feel like I've made a little bit of headway. Come to find out, the solution to my problem is the concept that is at the core of Jiu-jitsu. He pushes, you pull. He tries to make you go one way, you go that way, but use it to your advantage. Suddenly I get it. Not just in concept. I can feel it more now when I'm rolling.

Go figure. What my instructors have been trying to tell me this whole time was the answer to my current BJJ woes.

Before, I was tensing up out of fear. I didn't want to move because I thought I would get my guard passed and then get smashed or be in danger of having one of my limbs removed. Fabio and Ben--and more than a few of the higher belts--kept telling me to relax and trust my instincts.

So I started trying to do that. I tried to just go with them. When they pushed, I tried to roll inverted or come around the side or bring them over top of me. When they pulled, I tried to use that backwards motion to come on top, or come around the side. I tried to keep a look-out for stray limbs or an exposed neck and I tried not to squeeze or tense up. To stay relaxed, but tight.

At first, the worst happened. I got my guard passed. Got submitted. But then something clicked. Can't explain exactly what it was, but all of the sudden, I'm not as scared of big guys or musclers anymore. Now, people who throw their weight around are starting to be easier to move against in some ways. They have more force behind their movements and can't recover as quickly. In the same way, I'm learning that if someone is locking me up they are using up their energy and limiting their own movement. What I have to do is find a space and start weaseling through it. They can't hold on forever. And eventually, I worm my way out enough to where they have to move and then I can use that new space to get out of dodge.

I'm gushing right now. And I'm probably not being very coherent. So much for the short post! I can't really figure out how to explain what the change is. But I'm just going to enjoy this little mountain-top experience while it lasts. I know I'll probably get my head yanked down out of the clouds right into a triangle before I know it. Yay for good days on the mat! :)

Cloud Nine

Man, so much is going on in my little world right now I don't even know where to start. I guess, given that this is a BJJ blog, I'll contain my gleeful spoutings to only the things happening with my school and training.

Firstly, we had a belt graduation at Fabio's on Friday night and several people were promoted, including both of my Summerlin instructors, Ben and Mario. Ben got another stripe on his brown belt and Mario was promoted to Purple Belt. Go Mario!! Steph and I were humming the Super Mario theme song while he was getting his belt tied on. Then, after the end of class, we decided to congratulate him by doing a sneak attack and ambushing him at the same time. He ended up using Stephanie as a human shield against me and pinning us both to the wall. But I gave him a wet-willy in the process, so that has to count for something!! lol

Several others in the school got stripes or belts. Congrats to the Fabio Novaes BJJ team! Love you guys!!
















I have a video of the "ceremony" we do at Fabio's whenever a person is promoted to the next belt. All of the belts at their level or higher get to do three take downs of their choosing on the newly initiated. It was pretty awesome, though I will say I have no desire to become a blue belt any time soon after seeing the enormous line of excited blues, purples and browns waiting to toss the guys who got promoted! I'll put the video up soon.

Then, Saturday morning during class, I felt like the drills we did were almost tailor made for what I needed to learn. It was just one of those mornings where everything we learned instantly clicked. I think that's because we focused mainly on concepts, not on detailed, multi-step moves (though we did have a few of those). I am the type of person who learns the big picture, more than the small details. That's good in some cases. I can imitate positions and see variations during grapples when I learn something new. But it's bad because I usually forget some key detail that makes a position hard to keep or a submission difficult to finish. Oh well. Details will come with time, I hope.

I had a private lesson scheduled for after class, to work on some basic positions. I was noticing in my grappling that I could pass guard and get to side control, but I couldn't keep side control to save my life. Also, I was feeling like I needed to understand some of the basic concepts behind the North/South and Knee-on-Belly positions as well. I wrote everything down that I learned both in regular class and in the private, but I'm still absorbing it all. I'll do a post in the next few days about everything I learned. But, man! It was a great training session.

The icing on the cake was that I got a few stripes at Saturday morning's class. I was shocked. For the last month or so, I didn't feel like I was improving at all. It just goes to show how little I know about BJJ! And it inspires me to train even harder.

Fabio's school has been getting a lot of press recently and he told the class last week that we should look into getting sponsors. I'm sure he wasn't talking about crappy white belts when he said this, but how do you go about getting a sponsor? Do you just cold call people and say, "Hey, want to sponsor me?" Do you have to be uber to get one? Because if that's the case, I need not apply. ;)

Rolling today went well today. I actually finished a gi choke from half-guard for the first time ever. And, also for the first time, I went for leg locks during a couple of my grapples with some higher belts. I did catch a few legs, but they escaped before I could finish. I'm just happy that I was able to think, "I can do a leg lock here," during the grapple.

I realized something while I was rolling today. I mentioned a couple posts ago about how I haven't been catching the same submissions as I used to, that I'm either catching new ones or none at all. This afternoon, I rolled with someone who I haven't rolled with in a long time and realized my game has changed. I'm ending up in completely new positions, working leg locks and ankle locks, chokes from turtle and half guard, sweeps and attacks from inverted guard. I'm also tapping to completely new things as well-- weird leg locks, chokes that seemingly come out of nowhere. I think the reason why I'm not catching submissions right now is because I simply don't have it down from those positions yet. I fumble around with a leg lock the same way I used to fumble around with an armbar from guard. And I'm tapping a lot more because I don't know what to defend from those positions yet, nor have I figured out how to defend even if I did know what was coming.

That encourages me, though. Because it means I am not a retard, like I originally thought. ;) It's just another few pieces of the puzzle falling into place. I feel relieved.

Eureka!!

Last night I had one of those "Aha!" moments while I was watching two of my instructors grapple against each other. Mario, my blue belt instructor, was trying to pass Fabio's guard. Mario was passing to the side and Fabio had rolled onto his side. I get into this situation a lot and what I usually end up stiff-arming, holding onto their legs and trying to get my legs up to recover half guard or full guard. The problem is, they come around a lot more quickly than I can and I can only catch up maybe half of the time. If it is a higher belt I'm rolling with, I don't catch up. They just pass. lol

But Fabio did something that never occurred to me. When Mario tried to pass to the side, Fabio rolled upside down on his shoulders, presenting Mario with an inverted guard. Mario had to then deal with Fabio's legs again. And when he tried to pass to either side, Fabio could shift his hips and turn more quickly than Mario. My jaw actually dropped when I saw it.

The funny thing is, I have seen Fabio do this a million times. He has done it TO ME in several grapples. But for some reason, it clicked for me tonight.

So, the next grapple I had after I saw that, I tried it. Fortunately, I was going with another white belt girl, so I had a fair chance. It worked!! She started to pass and I flipped upside down to an inverted guard. She just looked at me like, "Crap...what do I do now." Which is exactly what I do when other people do that to me. ;)

Small victory for the win!!

Now if only I can learn how to pass the inverted guard...grrrr. :)

Stripe!

Nerd alert. I'm really excited. I got my first stripe today in Jiu-jitsu. Steph and Phil also got one. Woohoo! It felt really good. I know one stripe on a white belt doesn't make me epic or anything, but it's nice to know that I am at least making progress. They took some pics in class, but I don't have them yet. Here are a few we took at my house.

:)





Also, I hurt my knee today doing a take down. Obviously that's something I need to work on before NAGA. I'll add it to the list. ;)

Oh, and also, I'm down to 139lbs! Yay! Only 5 more to go before I reach that goal I set. The cool thing is, I haven't been insane about the dieting. I'e been watching what I eat, but I've been a doing a ton of exercise what with all the classes I've been going to and the jogging and strength training. So, even though the weight loss has been going at a glacial pace, I feel like it will be something I can maintain even after NAGA, since I'm not depriving myself of food. Yay!