I Almost Had 'Em!

Last night, I grappled with a younger kid who has been coming about a month. I was going slow, making him move and leaving space for him to escape and to attack. He would get me in something--a triangle or an armbar and I would do the escape.

Right at the end of the grapple, he had tried to do and arm bar and I rolled out and came into side control. It was a low side control. He hooked the knee close to me around the back of my neck. Didn't have an arm or anything. Was just squeezing my neck, trying something I guess. Fabio called "Time!" and he let go. Promptly he stood up and said, "Oh man! I almost had her!" He went and sat down and told his mom about how he almost had me in a submission and time stopped right before he could "get me". LOL!

I don't mind it too much. He's a little kid. Probably eleven or twelve. But it brings up a good point that many beginners don't realize. I say "beginners" including myself, because I have been guilty of this before too.

"Almost" isn't anything. If you weren't able to finish a submission properly, whether it be because you had incorrect technique or because your opponent knew the escape and executed it, then you didn't "almost" have it. You had an attempt. And that's a good thing. But there is a world of difference between trying a submission and being able to carry it through to it's completion.

It's ironic that I rolled with that kid on Thursday afternoon because the rolls were reversed last night at class. I rolled with a purple belt nick-named "Joe Boxer" who is strong, fast and highly technical. When he rolled with me, naturally, he toned down the speed and the strength. But not the technique. Like I did with the kid, he allowed me to get into good positions, to go for submissions, and then he would escape out of them with ease.

Though I went for several submissions, I knew I was no where close to finishing any of them. There was no "I almost had 'em!" lol

It is important, when we roll with higher belts, to realize that they are more than likely slowing down and working defense for our benefit. They are letting us get those dominant positions and to go for those submissions because they want us to grow.

It's all about working together to build skills. The higher rank is practicing defense--escaping bad positions and submissions--while the lower rank is working offense. Its a good way for everyone to get something out of the roll.

But there's one sure way to bring a fast end to a good rolling relationship like that. Talking smack. All that courtesy Joe Boxer showed me when we rolled would disappear if I went around telling people how I got mount on him and went after a million submissions and "almost had him." He would grapple me at his speed after that. Then we'd see if I could get mount and go for submissions. What would happen would be a lot of me being plastered to the mat and a lot of me tapping. Not fun.

The best way to look at a grapple with a higher belt is a chance to push yourself; to go for it. You should be able to trust that they will roll safely with you--that if they get that armbar, they won't crank it. They'll hold it and make you do the escape. So you can feel at liberty to try things because you know you can trust your rolling partner.

But at the end of the grapple, keep in mind the reasons why you were able to move and work those positions, escapes and submissions. Remember to say "Thank You." And remember to do the same thing for the newbies that come in after you. ;)

Purpose to the Pain

Warning: Dramatic Blog Ahead.

For the first time in a while, I voluntarily missed some classes. I had been feeling under the weather and needed to rest some injuries. I've been dealing with a bum shoulder for a while and haven't had a chance to get into the doctor. I plan to go in on Monday. My knees--both of them--are feeling twingy too. My right one worries me. It also has been hurting for a while. Never really been right since I hurt in that take-down about seven months ago.

I needed the rest. Not just physically. Life outside of BJJ has been pretty hectic. One of the days this week, I think Thursday, I was sick and took off from my duties at the church (we are doing a V.B.S. this week) and I slept literally all day. I also did a lot of this:



But now I am itching to get back on the mat. And I have two whole days before there will be another class. That's a good thing, I think. Two more days to ice and rest my shoulder and knee.

Been thinking a lot about the last few weeks and have been getting my head right. All of us grapple people we don't particularly want to. The reasons why we don't want to grapple them vary. I can list off a few of reasons I've complained about before: they muscle a lot, they do rude things, they crank submissions.

However, I think the real reason why I don't like grappling "certain people" is very simple: They beat me when I felt like they shouldn't have.

I don't like to think that I'm an overly competitive person. But I also don't like to think that I have to pay my bills every month. Unfortunately, me not wanting to think that doesn't make either of those things less true. I don't like losing. I don't like feeling like I didn't do as well as I should have. And that's my problem, not my opponent's problem.

What I think I lose sight of every now and then is that I am not in competition with my teammates. We are there to sharpen each other, challenge each other. If someone can pick apart my guard, that's actually a good thing, because it forces me to adapt, to grow.

But it still feels like crap.

As crappy as it feels, though, I refuse to avoid it. I see a challenge and I'm ready to attack it. I might get shut down for a while. But eventually, I will learn to deal with it. And then I'll be ready for the next challenge.

I realized also that my life in general is a lot like this. I don't have to deal with anything too horrible. But, like everyone else, I have to face situations I don't want to, deal with people I'd rather not, go through pain I wish I didn't have to. But, if I let it, these people and situations can be catalysts for times of growth in my character. They expose my weaknesses, my faults. I can either get mad at them, feel sorry for myself, or "be a man" and face it.

I want to face it. Why tap if you're not going to learn from it? Why go through all these difficulties and not take anything away from it? I want to learn from it, grow from it. Doesn't make it suck any less. But at least it brings purpose to the pain.

Garbage

That's pretty much what I felt like tonight.

I rolled with a guy I have never rolled with before. Whitebelt. Nice guy. Always been friendly with me. I'm thinking we're going to have a nice, relaxed grapple.

Wrong.

He sits down in front of me and says, "Go easy on me." But as soon as the grapple starts, he is after me. He stuffed my guard pretty easily, which was frustrating (lol), and then went on to a lot of smashing. Shortly into the grapple, he goes for a heel hook. I tapped. Didn't want to mess with it because I'm not the greatest at heel hook escapes. After that, I was on defense for most of the rest of the roll. I kept returning to my guard or half guard. He kept smashing and passing.

It sucked. I sucked.

I was already feeling pissy after that and then I rolled with another guy who is relatively new and notorious for spazzing and not tapping. I mentioned him a couple of weeks ago. Same kind of stuff. He kept trying to go for heel hooks from starting position. And he kept doing this thing where he waved his hands in front of my face to try to distract me or something. Didn't work. Just annoyed the garbage out of me. I got two heel hooks but had to let them go because he wouldn't tap. He kept spazzing out trying to pass my guard. Finally, after he kept trying to choke me from inside my guard, I arm-barred him. Twice. Nasty, tight ones too. I let go as soon as he tapped, of course, and I didn't pop his elbows or anything, but still. I don't normally go that hard on anyone, let alone some new guy who just doesn't know how to calm down. A few of my buddies in class told me they think the kid needs to be tapped out like that so that he calms down. But I just felt even crappier after that.

I guess the reason why I feel so crappy is that I know I lost my temper. I wasn't trying to hurt him. But I was like, "Alright. That's it." And then the barring ensued. Normally, I am able to tolerate spastic guys like him. Yeah, I get annoyed. But they don't send me into outer-space like this guy did tonight. If I'm honest, I know the reason why I got so mad was because I was frustrated about the grapple before. And I took it out on this other guy.

Yeah, let the hate comments roll in.

After that grapple, I was even more frustrated and angry, so when Fabio started to put me with another white belt guy, I just asked to sit out. I knew already I wouldn't be able to relax and grapple without being insane. After class, I apologized to the second guy for going a little too hard.

I talked to Fabio about it too and he told me a lot of the same stuff my other friends said. The guy needs to tap. Don't worry about it. But he also said he is going to keep putting me with the first guy who frustrated me until he doesn't frustrate me anymore. I know it will force me to grow. Fabio put me with him specifically because he likes to stuff inverted guard. I need to focus on developing other things and this will force me to do that. But I am not looking forward to it.

Anyway...I am going to stop with the angry blogging and go to bed.

Feeling a Little Smothered.

I grappled a guy yesterday afternoon who was relatively new to BJJ (I think. I have no idea how long he's been training) and who just locked me up and tried to beat me up with his weight the whole time while were grappling. He wasn't getting any submissions because either he didn't know how or wasn't trying to. And the positions he was locking me up in weren't working towards submissions either. Whichever way I moved, he just latched onto me and slammed his body down on top of me. If we were being scored, he probably would have won because of the fact that he was in a dominant position most of the time. Though I was able to keep him from passing my guard until the last few minutes. I kept catching him in half guard, but for some reason I couldn't sweep him and eventually he busted through my half guard and got in side control, where he remained for the rest of the grapple.

The thing that frustrated me so much was that I lost control of my emotions while I was grappling. He was being rough, but I should have been able to handle it. At one point I almost started crying. I kept telling myself not to freak out, to relax and just think. He had me locked up, but apart from slamming his body weight into me, he wasn't actually hurting me. I felt like I couldn't move under that guy's weight. He was pinning me down and locking me up and I knew I needed to sweep him, but I felt like I couldn't move. I guess I was so worked up and frustrated that my game went down the crapper.

On the upside, I did well in my other grapples. Though, I was still on defense the vast majority of the time since I went against almost all higher belts. That doesn't bother me. I expect to be on defense against higher belts. What bothered me so much was that I lost my cool, you know?

Oh well. I'm sure I'll have another chance to grapple that guy and next time, I'm going to relax and let him tire himself out locking me up. I just need to stay cool and look for an opportunity to sweep or hip out.

It was really frustrating.

How Fast?

How fast should I be progressing?

When do I not have an excuse anymore for my sloppy guard passes, poor base, non-tight position holds and crappy submission attempts? I've been taking Jiu-jitsu only two months. That's what everyone says. But when will my status as a beginner no longer cover over the fact that I'm not very good.

I'm not good yet. In five or six years, I hope I will be able to say that I am good at Jiu-jitsu. Right now, I feel like I know the very basics and that, in a real street fight, I might be able to defend myself enough to get away. But against other people who know Jiu-jitsu? Even against other white belts who have been taking class about six or seven months or more? They all own me.

Phil, one of my good friends that I practice with all the time, has only been taking class a little longer than Steph and I. Now, granted, he does outweigh me by a lot. Almost 80 lbs. But he is better than me not just because he outweighs me, but because he is picking up the technique faster than me.

I think he is better at just using his whole body on a person. He keeps his weight on them while he's passing from one position to the next. I leave too much space. That's what the higher belts were telling me at yesterdays practice. I leave too much space.

So I need to tighten up. But more than that, I just need to lighten up. I know I am being a perfectionist. I want to be good NOW but getting good takes time. So I need to just relax (how many times have I said that in this blog?) and just try to learn and grow.

On the positive side, I am noticing that my defense is getting better. It pretty much has to since everyone that I roll with at Fabios is better than me. But I desperately need to work on sweeps. I've been saying that for a while and haven't gotten any better at it.

Ok. I just posted this blog and then scrolled down. Two posts ago, I was talking about how I just got a stripe and now I am complaining about not being good enough. One stripe isn't amazing, but it shows I am making progress. So STOP COMPLAINING ALLIE!

;)

Intimidation Factor

I think I'm working through the whole intimidation thing. My last few classes have gone pretty well and I rolled better than I have been rolling in a while. I just focused on letting go of worrying about how good or bad other people think I am and just focusing on trying to learn.

So far, it's working out well.

Psych

I've been thinking too much when I grapple lately. Especially when I am intimidated by my opponent. Especially when the opponent I am intimidated by is bigger and better than me at BJJ.

Instead of going with the flow and concentrating on looking for sweeps and submissions and things, I am thinking about how I am going to get pummeled. It's retrded.

So no more.

Tonight, me, Steph and Phil are all going to Fabios and my goal while I am there is to not let myself get intimidated. The people who are bigger and better than me are going to roll me. I should just get over it and try to learn through it.