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Thursday, March 25, 2010

So...We Meet Again! :)

I found out tonight that a girl I faced off against in my first-ever tournament is coming to our school tomorrow night. She, Stephanie and I have become friends over the last several months and I am really excited to see her again and to roll with her again.

Kind of.

Kind of, I say? Well, here's the thing. She kinda-sorta wiped the floor with me in my first tournament. Twice. She was a really good sport about it and I remember thinking that I didn't even mind losing to her because she was so nice.

View exhibit A:


I had only been grappling a couple of months and my game has changed a lot since then. And I'm sure hers has too! (By the way, watching this video of myself is a very excruciating form of torture. "I can't believe I did that. Oh my gosh. Are you serious, Allie?" lol).

Now she's coming to my school and I feel really nervous. It's been 6 months since we last rolled. I guess I can look at this one of two ways:

1. I can be retarded and get uber competitive and try to to beat her, and get ticked off and feel bad about myself if she beats me again.

2. I can look at this as a positive learning experience and do the best that I possibly can and see where it takes me, without putting any pressure on myself to "prove something".

I am battling with my own insecurities right now. She's a really nice girl and a heck of a good fighter. I guess I have to look at what is important to me. Would I rather grapple her like it's a tournament and try to protect my pride? Or should I look at this as an opportunity to branch out and make friends and maybe grow through shared training in the long run? I want to do the second option. But I still feel pressure--even if it's all being put on me by my own self!

12 comments:

Stephanie said...

You will do fine, Allie. I promise. =)

Dev said...

You're better than #1. I'm assuming you invited her, and you obviously didn't invite her for a grudge match. Methinks you should just be you, and ejoy the fact that she's coming, make sure you save plenty of time for her, and learn what you can from each other! Awesome that she is coming to visit!

A.D. McClish said...

Thnks Dev. Yeah, I don't want to be #1. And that's not my personality. I do want to branch out and make other friends in the local BJJ community. But if I want to do that, I will have to learn to be friends with people who are better than me and who might beat me in tournaments. Before BJJ, I was never involved in any kind of sport like this where it's you vs. someone else, one on one. It's difficult sometimes to make yourself remember that you are doing this for fun and not to let your pride get in the way.

Stephanie said...

Funny you just made a similar comment to the thoughts I just had while eating dinner.

We need to be all over Tania... as in, all over her in a friend way. =)

Not only is she another woman, she is a mom... who trains Jiujitsu as much as we do. lol We can relate to her on more then one level.. She is a mom, a Christian, a grappler, and obsessed with BJJ.

I think there are probably only a few women in the state we have that many points in common with... and Tania super local. We should get together with her more often, on and off the mat.

Drseuss219 said...

There aren't enough women in the sport to even consider #1. When you get another woman...much less one in your weight class that is obviously more than competent...you should be nothing less than excited.

There is always a bigger fish. Always. But if you want to be a big fish, you gotta train with those bigger fish. :D

Georgette said...

OK, ok, ok... lovefest is wonderful. I'll just be a devil's advocate for a moment...

Don't give away your game, but observe as much of hers as you can! :) Do your best to be a good training partner, friend, fellow Fenomenon, etc etc... but it is TOTALLY OKAY to also have a little bit of a competitor in your brain.

Be strategic! It's not mutually exclusive with being friendly! After all a friendship is a relationship between personalities and character.. rolling can be that or it can be just... rolling! a physical connection. And a strategic one too! :)

Just the hypothetical $.02 of someone else much more competitive than me ;)

The Part Time Grappler said...

Haha this is such an honest post :) That's why I love your blog.

I'm kinda with Georgette on this one, but I have a couple of suggestions:

Give her the first tap. I always give guests the first tap. Not in a condescending way, I actually say the following: "Do you mind starting with me inside your triangel/armbar/guillotine/mount...etc.? coz I'd like to pick your brains on escapes!" Which of course is true and honest. I'm always working on improving my escapes.

The beautiful side effect that has is that they no longer go into the roll wanting to prove anything. If you start in a bad enough position, you don't even reveal anything about your game. Very very few people can escape from a 95% in triangle so it's not like your showing her a unique weakness. Of course, any tips she gives you afterwards MAY be worth gold!!

Everybody wins. I like it when everybody wins :)

A.D. McClish said...

@ Stephanie: Very true! I hadn't thought about it in that sense. I've always liked her, even from day one when she owned the crap out of me! lol

@ Dr. Suess: That's how I am trying to approach it. It would be stupid if I let pride get in the way of a friendship and a potential training partner.

@ Georgette: I'm glad you said that!! lol I mean, I do still have to compete against her! I don't want to show her all my super secret Ninja moves (note heavy sarcasm here). But, one thing my instructor, Ben, always says is that he doesn't mind showing people his moves. If they figure out how to defeat them, that's fine. It just forces him to adapt and improve his game.

BUT, this girl already has an advantage over me! lol

I think what I'm going to do is just train normally, with the exception of a few moves that I really like, that I want to save for tournaments. I really do want to be friends with her, so I will do my best, try to relax and have fun.

@ Liam: Hahaha, thanks Liam. I'd never thought of doing that before. Everyone always says that the first time you go with someone, you show them what you can do. Make them tap, you know. But your way is smart too because you put them at ease and learn a little bit about them in the process.

Meerkatsu said...

ou'll be fine. The competitive aspect does not go away but its a friendly roll in your home turf so neither you or her have anything to 'prove'. Still I totally understand, one guy, who is froma rival academy comes to our open mat as a guest of my instructor, he is exactly my age and weight and (before I got promoted) my rank too. But he is way better than me. We only rolled once and I have since managed not to roll with him again since I know we will meet in competition and, well, I don't want him to know ALL my weaknesses.

A.D. McClish said...

Haha, glad I'm not a complete jerk for feeling this way! lol. But the closer I get to tonight, the more I am actually looking forward to it. You guys know I'll be posting about how things went and if I let my nerves/pride get the better of me. Hopefully I'll have something nice to report, instead of saying, "I acted like an insecure year old." ;)

Megan said...

I wonder if what's really getting you in #1 is not yet having allowed your baby-BJJ-self be, well, a beginner. The only thing that made me think that is the fact that it's still hard for you to watch the video...not saying that kind of thing is ever fun, but I think accepting faults in yourself helps you accept losses/embarrassing moments better.

A.D. McClish said...

You are probably right, Megan. I need to accept the fact that I am a newb and just allow myself to be a newb! ;)

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