You Now Have Permission to Fail

This past weekend at the Miami International Open Tournament was AWESOME for so many reasons.

First and foremost, I love hanging out with my team. A few of us were talking on the trip down to Miami that BJJ must have some kind of addictive powers because most people who do BJJ are obsessed with it. We say it's a hobby, but actually, it's a lifestyle.

What amazes me even more is the way schools become like families. I've played team sports all of my life. Softball, volleyball, lacrosse and racquetball (yes...I was on a racquetball team in college. Yes that makes me nerdy. Don't be hatin'! lol). I've loved every sport I've played. But I have never been involved in a sport that has consumed me like BJJ has. Neither have I been on a team that was so close. We're all so different, but somehow it just...works. And I think that it's the same all over the place. Jiu-jitsu clubs are like second families. I wonder what it is about the sport that brings people into such close friendships.

At this tournament, I was a nervous wreck for all of my teammates. As soon as we walked in, my heart started pounding. I was taking video of everyone, so I was running around the gym from mat to mat, trying to watch everyone and screaming my head off in support. We had a lot of wins and some tough losses. Everyone did great.
My favorite guys/gals to watch were the ones who were competing for the first time. Let me tell you, they moved AWESOME!! I was really impressed.

The losses had a big impact on me, though not in an entirely negative way. Some of our best grapplers in the school lost matches yesterday. While I was either sad for the fact that they didn't win or pissed off at the ref or something, it was very liberating at the same time. These are guys who are way better than me. They can wipe the floor with me. But they lose too, sometimes. It was like someone was talking over a loud speaker saying: You now have permission to fail. lol

I talked to Fabio about it a little bit; about how I worry sometimes about disappointing him at tournaments. He said that a loss at a tournament doesn't mean anything to him. What means something to him is seeing someone who has the heart to go out and try. For some reason, at this tournament, that actually got through my thick skull.

Maybe the reason why it sunk in was that I had no pressure myself at this tournament and I could just enjoy it and learn. I could see the tournament without all my nerves getting in the way. Before this, I was pretty much forcing myself to do tournaments. Now, I am actually looking forward to the next one. The pressure is suddenly gone. I am sure I will still be nervous. But now I actually think it will be fun.

That alone made the trip completely worth it.

Some pictures from the weekend:



Got to meet Hillary Williams.

And also got to meet Cyborg. Watched him roll, too. Freaking awesome.

The 12 Commandments of Jiu-jitsu by Carlos Gracie Sr.

I stole this from Stephanie's Blog. Inspired me when I read it. :)

1. Be so strong that nothing can disturb the peace of your mind.
2. Talk to all people about happiness, health, and prosperity.
3. Give to all your friends the feeling of being valued.
4. Look at things by the enlightened point of view and update your optimism on reality.
5. Think only about the best, work only for the best, and always expect the best.
6. Be as just and enthusiastic about others victories as you are with yours.
7. Forget about past mistakes and focus your energy on the victories of tomorrow.
8. Always make those around you happy and keep a smile to all people who talk to you.
9. Apply the largest amount of your time on self-improvement and no time in criticizing others.
10. Be big enough so you can feel unsatisfied, be noble enough so you can feel anger, be strong enough so you can feel fear, and be happy enough so you can feel frustrations.
11. Hold a good opinion about your self and communicate that to the world, but not through dissonant words but through good works.
12. Believe strongly that the world is in your side, as long as you stay loyal to the best of yourself.

Thanks, Steph!

My Crazy Gi!!

I finally got my butt in gear and made a gi for Meerkatsu's gi competition. People have made some really cool gis. Go check it out!! :)



For more information about this crazy competition, visit Meerkatsu's Page or Tatami Fight Wear!

In other news, we've had some major plumbing leaks at the house and I've been wrapped up in moving furniture and jack-hammering up the floor. As we speak, I have a friend coming to take out my kitchen cabinets. Sigh...

But the bright spot of today is that I am having a private lesson with Fabio this afternoon! Woohoo! I'm going to ask about guard passing and sweeps from guard. I will let you know how it goes!

I have kind of been "cheating" an getting quasi-privates during every class by watching Fabio when I'm sitting out from rolling. I've noticed several things he does when he is defending his guard and I've tried to mimic them. They've gotten me instant results.

I mentioned a few of them in my previous posts, but here is one more: Fabio has a fifth appendage. (So THAT'S why he's so good! lol). It's his head. He uses his head in the most literal sense. Sometimes, he uses it like an extra arm or leg to pin something somewhere, or make space, or keep pressure.

When he is doing butterfly guard, I noticed that he always uses his head to keep space between himself and his opponent. For butterfly guard to work properly, you need a certain amount of space between you and your opponent so you can get the proper leverage to sweep. Fabio uses his head to keep that distance. And he does it in more than just butterfly guard.

I added that to trying to keep on one hip or the other (to stay mobile) and instantly my guard became a little harder to pass.

There are a few other things I noticed him doing in defense of his guard, but I don't understand them well enough yet to write about them. I plan on asking him about it in today's private. Happy rolling to all of you!!

Purpose to the Pain

Warning: Dramatic Blog Ahead.

For the first time in a while, I voluntarily missed some classes. I had been feeling under the weather and needed to rest some injuries. I've been dealing with a bum shoulder for a while and haven't had a chance to get into the doctor. I plan to go in on Monday. My knees--both of them--are feeling twingy too. My right one worries me. It also has been hurting for a while. Never really been right since I hurt in that take-down about seven months ago.

I needed the rest. Not just physically. Life outside of BJJ has been pretty hectic. One of the days this week, I think Thursday, I was sick and took off from my duties at the church (we are doing a V.B.S. this week) and I slept literally all day. I also did a lot of this:



But now I am itching to get back on the mat. And I have two whole days before there will be another class. That's a good thing, I think. Two more days to ice and rest my shoulder and knee.

Been thinking a lot about the last few weeks and have been getting my head right. All of us grapple people we don't particularly want to. The reasons why we don't want to grapple them vary. I can list off a few of reasons I've complained about before: they muscle a lot, they do rude things, they crank submissions.

However, I think the real reason why I don't like grappling "certain people" is very simple: They beat me when I felt like they shouldn't have.

I don't like to think that I'm an overly competitive person. But I also don't like to think that I have to pay my bills every month. Unfortunately, me not wanting to think that doesn't make either of those things less true. I don't like losing. I don't like feeling like I didn't do as well as I should have. And that's my problem, not my opponent's problem.

What I think I lose sight of every now and then is that I am not in competition with my teammates. We are there to sharpen each other, challenge each other. If someone can pick apart my guard, that's actually a good thing, because it forces me to adapt, to grow.

But it still feels like crap.

As crappy as it feels, though, I refuse to avoid it. I see a challenge and I'm ready to attack it. I might get shut down for a while. But eventually, I will learn to deal with it. And then I'll be ready for the next challenge.

I realized also that my life in general is a lot like this. I don't have to deal with anything too horrible. But, like everyone else, I have to face situations I don't want to, deal with people I'd rather not, go through pain I wish I didn't have to. But, if I let it, these people and situations can be catalysts for times of growth in my character. They expose my weaknesses, my faults. I can either get mad at them, feel sorry for myself, or "be a man" and face it.

I want to face it. Why tap if you're not going to learn from it? Why go through all these difficulties and not take anything away from it? I want to learn from it, grow from it. Doesn't make it suck any less. But at least it brings purpose to the pain.

I don't really have a plan. Part Two

It was so late (for me) last night when I posted that blog that I took some short cuts. I wanted to share more about what Fabio and Ben had to say about reactionary grappling vs having a plan.

Typical to my over-analytical nature, I had come to them because I was concerned that I wasn't "planning" enough in my grappling. I was also curious about the fact that I almost never get techniques the way we set them up in drills. The only time that happens is when it's someone relatively new that I'm rolling with. More often, I'll be rolling and realize I'm at the "half-way" point or at the last few steps of a certain move and I'll jump on it and try to see it the rest of the way through. I wanted to know if that was alright. Should I be setting things up more? Should I go in with an agenda and try to execute it?

In short, their answer was no. Here are the reasons they explained to me:

1.) Plans go out the window because people are unpredictable. So much in BJJ requires using the other person's weight and momentum against them. They push, I pull. They resist, I go another way. It's very difficult to plan in a sport like this because, even if you have a general idea of how a person rolls, they can switch it up at any time. And forcing a technique to happen when you should really move on to something else is not what BJJ is all about.

2.) Your body will naturally go to the things you're good at. I am more prone to working chokes, armbars and triangles from guard. So, unless I am actively thinking about working on something else, that is where I end up. It's not that I plan it, it's just where my reactions take me during the roll.

3.) I do think that it is important to challenge yourself and to work new things into your game, but Fabio said each person's game evolves naturally over time. When you drill something over and over again, it becomes muscle memory. Then, when the situation presents itself in a grapple, you react without even thinking about it. When a new piece of the overall puzzle is becoming a part of your game, you might only get a few steps into the move and then fumble around trying to remember what to do from there. But that is a problem resolved only with more drilling, more grappling and time.

4.) One thing both Fabio and Ben were adamant about was that, if you build your game on trying to study your opponent and coming up with a game plan specifically tailored to beating them, you will end up pigeon-holing yourself. Sure, you might be able to find a hole in someone's game by watching them, and catch them in a tournament. But you will also run into people who are diverse and will switch their game up mid-grapple. Where will you be then? It's better to play your own game and to work diligently in training to be diverse and be able to handle whatever type of opponent comes your way.

So, all of this is aptly summed up by what Ben would probably in response to my worries about not planning enough: Just come in and do your thing. Stop worrying so much.

Happy rolling! :)

I don't really have a plan.

Had a talk with Faibo and Ben about rolling with a plan/agenda vs rolling in a reactionary way. I would describe my grappling style as reactionary. I don't really plan things. I see things and go for them, or I try to move someone into a position that would be more advantageous for me. I take what comes to me and try to use it to gain dominance or even catch a submission.

Guard is a big part of my game for that reason. I can attack, control and defend from my guard, all the while preventing them from really getting a dominant position. But I don't plan out how I will work my guard and say, "First , I'll get them in closed guard, then I'll fall back to spider guard and then half guard."
I don't really think while I grapple, but it I did, it would be something like, "Ok, he's going to break my guard, I'm going to set up for spider guard defense and be looking sweeps and possible triangles, armbars or omaplatas."

What actually happens when I'm in one of those good rolls is that I don't think. They come at me, I react, try to secure a position. They move, I try to use the space they make. Oh, there's a choke there. Go for it. Can't finish it so try to turn it into a bluff for a sweep. That's what usually happens. I have no plan.
I try something, it doesn't work, I try something else, look for space, look for a way to isolate a limb, to go for a choke. There's no structure there.

Should there be? I'm wondering...

A lot of people I've talked to in the blogosphere like to have game plans. They know what they want to accomplish in a grapple. One I commonly here is takedown, pass, mount and choke. That is the game plan. Or get the take down, establish side control, isolate a limb and armbar.

I don't play that way, but some people do with some success, I would guess. To be honest, I don't really know. Do any of you out there grapple by a game plan? Do you go into it with a plan of attack? How often do those plans play out in grapples the way you planned them?

Grappling Angry

Fabio said something in passing while he was explaining the technique Friday night and it has made me think a lot since. You've probably heard it said before that grappling angry leads to poor technique. Why? Because you're so focused on getting the tap that you get impatient and focus less on position. I was thinking, couldn't the same thing be said of grappling with insecurity? In the same way, you're focused on getting the tap, because you want to prove yourself. But meanwhile, your mind is so full of trying to be good that you can't focus on what you need to do to actually be good.

I'm rambling. Was up too late last night. Time to go to sleep. Happy Mother's Day, all!

Talking During Grappling

I think it's funny to see how vastly different one grappling experience can be from the next. You might go with one guy who is laid back, just "moving" as we say, and then the very next grapple you go with someone who is going all out, pushing you to the limit of your ability. Sometimes you kind of mess around in a grapple, or experiment with weird moves you've never tried before, but then other times the intensity goes up and the grapple gets serious.

Things get even more interesting when you add talking into the mix. Now, I don't have a problem when you're rolling with someone and goofing around and talking smack back and forth mutually. But there are some breeches of etiquette that I've noticed and I thought I'd talk about them here and get your opinions on what you think about these talky grapplers. Let me just say, I've been guilty of some of these "offenses" from time to time. Anyway, here they are:

1. The Staller -- This is the guy or gal who likes to talk during the whole grapple. They tell you stories, ask you questions, tell you about a technique they saw...whatever happens to come to their mind. Meanwhile, they aren't really grappling, they're moving a little bit, but are acting like they're not really going hard. They might do that for the entire grapple. If you are also a talker or just want to take it easy for one round, this might not be a problem for you. But if you really want to work on stuff, this person can be frustrating.

2. The Sneak Attacker -- This guy or girl is similar to The Staller, with one big difference. They'll be talking up a storm and laughing and seemingly messing around and not going serious. Then, they get into a good position and all of the sudden the conversation stops and you're getting choked out. This is one of my biggest pet-peeves. I don't know if it bothers anyone else, but I don't like it when someone asks you a question and waits for you to respond and then tries to pull a move on you. The Sneak Attacker is also sometimes develops "phantom injuries" that come at the start of the grapple but magically disappear when the person gets in a good position.

3. The Smack Talker -- Everyone likes to joke around and talk a little crap from time to time, but the smack talker isn't joking. They're throwing out jibes during the grapple aimed at either announcing a good position/submission on their part or belittling a good position/submission attempt on your part. In my opinion, this ruins a training experience because the focus gets taken off of learning and it turns into a competition between two people who are supposed to be on the same team, helping each other out.

4. The Advice Giver -- This one is similar to The Staller as well. Here's how they operate. You're grappling and you're moving into a good position or setting up a submission and all of the sudden your partner stops you and tells you that you're doing something wrong. They then very kindly tell you what you need to do in order to get the technique right. Meanwhile, you're thrown off your timing and they're getting out of danger. Now, sometimes higher belts will stop a grapple to explain something or give advice to a lower belt. But that's a different scenario. What I'm talking about is when someone decides to share their pearls of wisdom at the precise (convenient) moment when he or she is about to get owned.

5. The Passive-Aggressive Commenter -- This person has beef with you. Maybe you caught them in an unexpected position or submission and they're still mad about it. Maybe you said something that rubbed them the wrong way last class. Or maybe they just don't like you. But they're not going to come out and say it. Instead, they're going to make comments like, "Oh, I noticed you couldn't finish that triangle. Are you not feeling well?" Or, "Usually I have more of a hard time grappling you. Is everything ok?" You can tell how concerned they are by that gleeful glint in their eye as they stick it to you!

6. The Braggart/Accuser -- This offender takes his or her crimes off the mat, usually behind your back. They'll tell everyone they can how many times they submitted you and the mistakes you made. Or, if you happened to beat them, they'll smear you up and down saying you cross-faced them or made a cheap move in order to get your submission. Of course, you're not there to give your version of the story. But you certainly hear about it later when the gossip finally comes back around to you.

It's kind of a given that people are going to say stupid things to you at some point, whether it is on the mat or off the mat. I've done it before to other people, though not intentionally, and have had to apologize for opening my big mouth when I should have just kept it shut and grappled. And other people have done it to me.

In my opinion, it's best to error on the side of caution. If you think a joke is borderline and might be taken offensively, just don't say it. And, unless a person asks you for advice, I am starting to think it's best to just keep your opinions to yourself. That is, unless you have a good relationship with the person and you trade experiences and advice, or unless you're an instructor. Then it's kind of your job. ;) If you keep your mouth shut, you'll save yourself a lot of drama and have a more pleasant grappling experience.

So here is my question for you guys in the blogosphere: How do you handle talky grapplers? Do you ignore them and put it on with the fierceness? Do you endure the rambling and the comments with the patience of Mother Theresa? Or do you talk right back to them, meanwhile setting them up for that secret ninja position they missed in the last class and have no defense for? ;) I'm interested to see how your reactions line up with mine.

Great Blog

Just read a really funny/insightful blog this morning by the Jiu-Jitsu Fighter. Go check it out!

Also, I posted about jealousy on my
"other" BJJ blog, in case any of you are interested.

Headed out to BJJ class this morning. Following an idea from Meerkatsu's most recent blog, my goal this morning is going to be to get on top and stay on top. I'll let you know how it goes!!

I'm Not Going to Sulk

My husband has a way of pointing things out that are true, but very annoying. For example: Last night when I came home all weepy about not getting to be instructed by Ben and Mario at Summerlin, he pointed out that God has turned around several things that I thought were going to be horrible and made them into something great. He very kindly listed them off.

When I moved from Tampa (the city where I grew up and knew a lot of people and had access to a lot of places) to Bartow (a city where I knew only my brother and sister-in-law and that had a Walmart, a Publix and not much else) I was pretty depressed. I'd left my family and friends and had come to a place where I didn't want to be.

But, when I got here, I met a lot of people I now love and now feel like this place is my home. Since I moved here, I got to take on my dream job of being a youth minister, plus I get to be nerdy and write fiction on the side. Also, if I hadn't moved here, I never would have even known what BJJ was.JJ also pointed out that one of the things I always preach to my youth kids is to be flexible and to trust that God has a plan.

As much as I didn't want to hear these positive things at that moment, I slept on it and woke up realizing that he is right(Dangit!!). Things do have a way of working out, and a lot of times they work out better than I could have hoped.

You know, this whole reacting and adapting idea is so much like what I want to be able to do when I'm rolling. It's funny, I have been so focused on relaxing and going with the flow during grappling, but when something didn't go my way in my life off the mat, I forgot all about adapting. Guess I'm still a white belt in life as well!!

Anyways, onto a different topic. Last night, during grappling, I went with a blue belt we call Yeti who I roll with fairly often. He's a great sparring partner and he challenges me while, at the same time, always being careful not to put submissions on too quickly or too hard. He asked if he could go a little harder on me last night, and I welcomed the challenge. I knew he was going to pass my guard and that I would find myself in bad situations. But my goal was to not freak out when that happened and to not get intimidated.

As I expected, he passed my guard multiple times. But every time I tried to stay calm and be focused on what I needed to do to return to a neutral position or to sweep him. He was still moving at a slower pace against me than he would people at his skill level, but I at least felt like I was able move alright. Yay!

On the other hand, I rolled with a white belt guy who is a lot bigger than me (almost 100 lbs more so) and I could not pull of a sweep from guard or half guard to save my life. There must be a few (hundred) flaws in my sweep techniques because that boy was not going over. Something to work on.

So, here's to adapting and growing! Happy rolling, everyone!

Jiu-jitsu is a lot like....

I'm a youth pastor. At my church, I teach on Wednesday nights and, ever since I started BJJ, my illustrations have changed. I am notorious for Jiu-jitsu analogies. In fact, the kids groan whenever I start to say, "You know, when I was in class on Tuesday, I realized that..."

My friends and family don't always see the genius in my analogies. (Note sarcasm, please) And, I am sure all of you here do not want to be accosted with my nerdy philosophical musings. But, still, I feel compelled to talk about them, even if it is to myself! ;)

So I started another blog. I will try to limit my analogies to that one and leave this one just for stuff that is directly linked to my BJJ training and experiences. If, however, you are a glutton for corny analogies, feel free to check out my other blog.

http://gripfight.blogspot.com/

Happy rolling!!

Flea on the Dog

I couldn't train last night because I'm sick, but I did turn up at the gym to watch a few more promotions to blue belt. One guy who we call Salsa John was promoted to blue belt and he definitely deserved it. I know tournaments alone don't warrant a belt promotion, but he won his division at NAGA almost effortlessly. During one of the matches I watched, he ran the score up 21 to 0. Congrats Salsa John!!

Since I couldn't train last night, I had the chance to watch how some other people roll. Someone that I love watching is one of our purple belts, Brian Morgan. He's not a big guy, only a little bit taller than me and maybe 15 pounds heavier. But he moves like his opponents weigh nothing, even when--like last night--the guy he's rolling with weighs almost 100 lbs more.

There were several times last night when I though his opponent was about to take the dominant position. They were basically moving on top and were almost all the way over. And then, out of nowhere, Brian would somehow slide out from under and end up back on top.

One of the keys, I think, is that Brian never stops moving. He's a good example of the metaphor Fabio likes to use called "Flea on the Dog." The dog is much bigger than the flea, but the flea keeps biting the dog and winning. Why? Because no matter how much the dog tries to bite the flea, the flea keeps moving out of the way. That definitely describes Brian. He's always moving out of the way. At least he is until he gets where he wants to be and then he's the one putting on the pain.

Here's an old video highlight reel of Brian's. I think it was made a few years ago when he was still a white belt, but I'm not sure.

Balancing Act

I'm kind of a passionate person. When I find something I really like, I throw myself into it body and soul. Problem is, I like a lot of things: God, my family, my work as a youth director, writing and now BJJ.

I'm not really a math person, but I know enough to realize that, since I only have 24hours each day, I cannot possibly be perfect in all these areas that I really like. So I have to prioritize. Here's my list:

1. God
2. Family
3. Youth Work
4. BJJ
5. Writing

Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu is 4th on the list. Don't ask me to figure out what percentage of my day I should devote to jiu-jitsu because that's a little too mathy for me. The point is, I need to be careful not to let BJJ squeeze out the things that are above it on my priority list.

Let's face it. I am not 16 years old. I have a husband, a son, a house and a job that require my attention. I can't train for hours and hours each day and I don't have the money to enter into every competition that comes my way.

Does that mean I'm not serious about BJJ? No. It just means I have to stay balanced. I have to be patient. Maybe I won't advance as quickly as I would if I didn't have all these other responsibilities, but there's really nothing I can do about it. I DO have responsibilities, so I have to take BJJ at a slower pace than a lot of other people who are involved in the sport.

That's ok with me. It's my hobby. It's not my life. I enjoy it, but I won't be consumed by it.

Having said all that, I've added two more nights a week that I'll be doing BJJ! lol Steph and I are going to be grappling on Sunday nights and Thursday nights from now on in order to get ready for the NAGA competition in November. Hopefully, I can keep my passion in check and not neglect all my other responsibilites. I really enjoy BJJ and I don't want my own lack of discipline to make it become a problem in my life.

We'll see what wins out in the end: my passion or my self-discipline. Lord help me. ;)

Interesting Things

So, since I am a nerd, I have been researching Jiu Jitsu. (I like to read! Leave me alone!) I've found out some things that I find interesting. Your average joe on the street probably won't find these things as cool as I do, but I have fully embraces my nerd status so I don't care.

Interesting thing #1: Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu was not developed driectly from Japenese Jiu-Jitsu, like I originally thought. Since they are both called Jiu-jitsu, I just assumed that the Brazillian form was a variation of the Japenese form. Not true. Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu was actually developed from Judo, which is a martail art that was developed from Japanese Jiu-Jitsu.

Here's why I care. I know a few people who practice Judo and they always remind me that Judo was developed from Jiu-Jitsu and is therefore better. LOL. They don't actually say it's better, but we do get into friendly debates over the merits of the different disciplines. Anyway, I thought it was interesting to learn that BJJ was actually developed from Judo. I'm not saying BJJ is better than Judo. They're just different styles of fighting.

Interesting Fact #2: From what I've gathered so far (and I could be wrong) Rank in BJJ--which is symbolized by the color belt that the practitioner wears--is awarded mainly based on performance of technique in competition and demonstration. In many other martial arts, you need to alo have a knowledge of basic history, names of the techniques and be able to show technique in demonstrations, not necesarily in competition.

Interesting Fact #3: Technique makes BJJ effective, not size or strength. I've heard his a million times at practice, but it really hit home t me when I was doing research on BJJ. The main strength of BJJ lies in the ability to execute chokes, strangles and joint locks and, in the high ranks, compression locks. Unlike in other martial arts, where strength and size give the advantage for striking, BJJ techniques do not require size or strength. In fact, depending on strength will actually weaken your game. Learning how to execute the chokes, strangles and joint locks quickly and accurately will give a person the advantage over an opponent who might be bigger or stronger.

That's good for me in a self-defense situation, considering that I am a 5'5'' female of average weight. I won't have a size or strength advantage oer the average male. But if I learn these techniques, size and strength really won't matter that much. I'm already seeing that from only 2 and a hal weeks of lessons.

Anyway, here's a cool video with some Leo Vieira highlights. He uses some interesting techniques! ;) Watch and enjoy.