Managing Friends on the Mat

Was tired in class this afternoon. Zombie-like. Getting my shoulder looked at on Monday, but it did fine during the rolls. Unfortunately though Salsa John's guard vexed me for the majority of our grapple. I was trying to pass and wasn't succeeding, so I started to go to my guard. Fabio stopped me. "You were on top, you stay on top. Don't go to your guard. You'll lose two points if you do that in a tournament."

Oopsie.

They told me that I give up too early. When the pass doesn't work, I fall back onto what I feel safe with. My guard.

Ironically, we worked some guard passing in drills today and I am REALLY wanting to have a private to focus on that area. What are the main concepts behind breaking guard and where am I getting them wrong? I know some of the answers to those questions, but I want to see specifically where all my dreams of passing are being shattered on the rocky reality of my opponents legs! ;)

We've had lots of new girls come in and try BJJ recently. Some of them stay, some of them go. I always try hard to be friendly and to make their first experience a positive one. Genuinely, I want to see the number of women increase in Jiu-jitsu in general and at our school.

But I am noticing a struggle in myself with some of the girls. Nothing new, but still something that makes me unsure of what I should do. Do I go for things with these girls? Or do I only work defense and let them work? Do I roll for only position and not submit? Do I Go for submissions but just let them escape?

Why all the angst and drama?

I don't want them to be mad at me, but I also want both myself and them to get the most out of the training session that I can. Some of them are like me and want to be challenged. But how much? Do they want me to just make them move? Or do they want me to go for submissions and let them escape or not? I suppose I should just ask individually.

Guys are easier to deal with. BJJ is a fighting sport. So, you get down and you grapple. For girls, there's another layer of social politics thrown into the game. Not all girls are like that, I know. But I have witnessed that in the past.

What I have been doing is to try to do what most higher belts do for me: roll light and work more defense. Or, I roll and look for submissions, catch them, but then let them work out. It depends on the girl. But I am worried sometimes. Did I go to hard that time? Should I have let her escape that triangle? Should I let her pass, even though she isn't using the proper technique and I could stop her?

Most of all, I don't want to do the wrong thing and have them dislike me. I care way too much about other people think. I know. But there it is.

As far as my progression goes....well...it goes. Jiu jitsu is my therapy. I love it, even when I feel like I'm sucking. Right now, coming up on top is a problem. Passing the guard is the problem. Hopefully that private lesson will lead me to a few of the answers. Still enjoying the journey. Hope you all are too.