Yesterday afternoon sucked. There's just no other way of putting it. I wasn't feeling it even before I got to class. My body was just...tired. And sore. But I only have a few classes left before NAGA, so I figured I could just roll light and move a lot.
Um...no.
Several other people are training for various tournaments, especially the Pan Ams. No one wanted to go light. One particular grapple I spent the entire time glued to the mat. I was able to keep half guard and prevent the guy from getting into mount, but I just couldn't pull off any sweeps. I tried to keep working, inching my way here or there, but it was just constant smash the entire time. Ended up hurting my rib, too, when he had me in a fetal position with me clinging to one of his legs for dear life. I posted up on my ribs kind of like a knee on belly type of deal, except I had his other leg. I tried to sweep him when he did that, but he just sprawled his weight back down on me. My rib is not bad, but it is enough to be annoying when I move certain ways. At the very end, I got so mad I went into Hulk Mode and muscled the guy off of me (that was a feat of adrenaline, I tell you) and attacked him like a rabid animal. But I could not pull off any submissions. After that roll, I felt like garbage about myself and slumped off the mat and went into the office.
I want to be able to overcome that weight and strength advantage, but I am not there yet. At best, all I can do is survive, wait for the guy to make a mistake and then attack with all I've got. It's so frustrating to feel that helpless.
The way I handle frustration is to cry. It's not voluntary. It just happens. Not a good coping strategy, I know. But whatever. I hope my instructor doesn't get frustrated with me because of how emotional I get sometimes. I try not to be that way, but sometimes it just happens.
I decided to take tonight off from class in favor of having a date with my awesome husband. An Outback bloomin' onion sounds like just what the doctor ordered. Hopefully a few days of rest will help my body get back to normal.
Things are really, really bad.
2 months ago
4 comments:
I feel your frustration. Believe me.
There's nothing wrong with having a cry. It's how the body/mind/spirit discharges negative emotions so that you can afterward work on putting them aside and moving ahead. It's a useful tool. I do prefer to get off the mat and do it in private, though!
Allie, may-be this helps you. When I know I'm going to roll with someone who will dismantle me, I tell myself that my objective for this roll is to survive, stay calm and focus on escapes. If I manage to do that, then the roll was good. I won't beat myself up because I did not submit him.
If I roll with someone I know I could possibly catch or dominate, I will tell myself that I will be on the offense. If I manage to stay on top and hunt for subs, I have succeeded (even if I didn't actually submit him).
If I didn't adjust my objectives, I would be going home crying every day and think I did so horrible. My game started improving a lot when I let go of the idea that I must finish my opponent at any cost.
My goal for the past 2 years has been a complete positional domination of the opponent and just now that I'm getting close to purple belt, I'm actually chaining submission combos together.
xxx
Triin
I don't think crying's such a horrible coping strategy. Sure, people see it as a sign of weakness, but there are much worse ones.
I'll likely be roaming around at NAGA...hope I'll catch you there! Hang in there!
Enjoy your date!
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