Kyra Gracie Interview

This has been circulating around the internet, but in case you haven't seen it, here is an interview with Kyra Gracie about what her experience as a woman doing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu has been like. So inspiring!

If you are a woman who does BJJ, have you encountered any of the same struggles? What has been the hardest part for you practicing Jiu-Jitsu? What advantages have you noticed, as a woman training in this sport?

For me, one of the hardest parts about being a woman training bjj is dealing with my desire to "prove myself" to the guys. When you really boil it down, it is my pride. I want to show them that I can do this just as good and legitimately as they can.

The funny thing is, there have been only a couple of times when any guy has said anything negative to me about training as a female. In fact, the guys I train with are by a great majority very encouraging. They want me to improve and help me to do so.

So why do I still feel like I have something to prove? I guess it comes down to my own insecurity.

A few weeks ago, the result of that insecurity was embarrassingly apparent. I was grappling some guys I hadn't grappled in a long time--maybe 6 months or so--and I had wanted to make sure I didn't fall into some of the same pitfalls I had encountered the last time I grappled them. Unfortunately, I was so determined NOT to get on the bottom, that I started using a lot of strength and going bananas. In one grapple, Fabio actually stopped me and told me I was using too much strength. He told me to calm down and move more. After class, I talked to him about it and said I didn't know why I had reacted that way.

He said something along the lines of, "I do. It's because you were grappling a man. You grapple big, strong girls all the time and you move with them. You don't try to match strength for strength. But when you grapple a man, you use strength. You wanted to prove something. But why? You don't have to prove anything. You already have the proof around your waist."

I realized he was right. My pride was getting in my way.

I know some women really ARE put down at their gyms. They have to deal with people who don't take them seriously because of their gender. It makes me angry to hear some of the stories.

Fortunately, that hasn't been my experience. But if I am not careful, I will victimize myself by creating a stigma in my mind that no one has branded me with in reality. If I don't watch myself, I can use my gender as an buffer to protect my pride, or to muddle friendships because I am too sensitive about the subject. I don't want to do that. It would almost be like crying wolf when there aren't any real wolves around.

For those of you who have to deal with real criticisms and ignorance, take a page out of Kyra's book and don't let them get you down. Keep training hard. Keep learning. The proof will be shown on the mat in time.