Sunday, May 9, 2010

Grappling Angry

Fabio said something in passing while he was explaining the technique Friday night and it has made me think a lot since. You've probably heard it said before that grappling angry leads to poor technique. Why? Because you're so focused on getting the tap that you get impatient and focus less on position. I was thinking, couldn't the same thing be said of grappling with insecurity? In the same way, you're focused on getting the tap, because you want to prove yourself. But meanwhile, your mind is so full of trying to be good that you can't focus on what you need to do to actually be good.

I'm rambling. Was up too late last night. Time to go to sleep. Happy Mother's Day, all!


Liam H Wandi said...

I don't think you're rambling. I think you're being honest.

That's one of the things I love about BJJ. It forces us to face ourselves deep inside. I'm a more honest person now thanks to rolling.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still human and sometimes I muscle my way out of a sure sub, but here is the new development: I recently got caught by an armbar and used so much muscle to escape, I actually turned to the guy and apologised to him. My exact words were "You had me there and I was being a dick. I am sorry".

I would neeeeeever have done that in the past. Hopefully soon, I will stop admitting to bad things and just...stop doing them. That'd make my wife very happy :)

A.D. McClish said...

LOL, Liam!! I completely agree with you. BJJ is kind of like a magnifying glass for both your character flaws and strengths. And it's great because you have a chance every single class to improve yourself mentally, physically and emotionally.

I think the fact that BJJ forces you to face yourself is one of the reasons why a lot of people quit. They don't like it when they are confronted with their short comings. I think the ones who stick with it are the ones like you who look at it and say, "I'm not there yet, but I'm on my way and enjoying every step." Kudos!!

Liam H Wandi said...

I agree with you on (almost everything) with a small reservation.

I don't believe in short comings (well not completely anyway). I believe we are all perfect and wonderful and I believe we are in a constant state of change. People often grasp at "pictures" of reality and identify themselves in terms of "where I was" and "where I want to be" and BJJ forces you to look at that much closer.

At first, I was very proud of starting to think in terms of "where I am now" but I'm feeling more and more that "where" is dynamic and relative, "I" is not real and just get's in the way so all that's left is "Am now".

That was so rubbish it's hilarious :)

What I'm trying to say is: You're on the mat. You're rolling. Stay is all well.

The other point that jumped to my mind is something my yoga teacher said to me years ago:

Kerstin-Yoga can help you unveil a lot of tension that has been stored in the body. Tension that started from events in your life and you may have forgotten the original cause but the body remembers that tension. Sometimes, when you stretch a tight hamstring, you suddenly remember falling of your bike as a child.

ME-Wow that's a great way to open up. Everyone should do it!

Kerstin-Hmm..I don't think everyone can handle it in this format. Some formats are more suitable for some, others for others.

and that's how I feel about BJJ. I don't think in terms of "quitting" BJJ. I feel like I started self discovery since I was born (and that's the same for everyone) but being human, I didn't label it so. I labelled it drawing, watching tv, trying out different flavours, uni, sports, work, maths, yoga...etc. and bjj is another form. I couldn't "quit" self discovery even if I tried.

the same goes for those who don't "get" BJJ. It's just not the best tool for them now.

Who's rambling now? :)

A.D. McClish said...

Fair enough. I can see where you're coming from. Some people just find that BJJ isn't for them. I definitely agree. But I do think pride is a huge obstacle for enduring in the sport. Maybe they don't want to tap or can't take correction, or whatever the case may be. But if they can't get past it, you're liable to quit. That's partially what I meant by having to face yourself.

In a related way, some people have to face a kind of "reverse pride" where they unreasonably expect perfection out of themselves and beat themselves up when they can't attain it. They might quit out of frustration with themselves. I struggle against this; setting unreasonable standards for myself both on and off the mat and getting angry at myself when I don't reach them. I have to get past that and not only accept where I am but enjoy the journey.

But I like the way you put it. It's not a tool for them to use now.

Liam H Wandi said...

Once again, very wise and honest words Allie.